she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think i have two assholes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
