that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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