I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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