Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I had to cum in my sink.
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