sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
