remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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