In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
