Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
