hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We are two peas in an std pod
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
