I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just google imaged poop.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
