You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
