The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
