508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
