as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
