I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
