I accidentally burped into my bong.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
