I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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