Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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