I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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