They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
