Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
