I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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