So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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