There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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