After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
