I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
