I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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