some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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