they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
