I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We have so much sex to catch up on
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
