the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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