Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
