Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
