You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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