So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
