How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
