No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
