Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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