Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
