Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
