Is it normal to miss your booty call?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
