no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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