Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
