turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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