guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We had to coat check the pizza.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
