Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
