I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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