Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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