im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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