Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
