she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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