just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize